Final Goodbye
by Lady Luce
Summary: Elladan and Elrohir each have a choice to make. Stay in Middle Earth with Arwen or follow their father to Valinor, but what happens when both make different decisions?


**-Final Goodbye-**

-ElvenHope-

_A/N: I wrote this a while ago and found it the other day flicking through some old note books. It had some errors I could clear up, but another which is one of my main plot points and therefore I couldn't get rid of it. If one is following canon after Elrond and Galadriel left for the Grey Havens Celeborn went to live with Elladan and Elrohir in Imladris. This can still be true of course, but at the time my story is set Celeborn has already departed for the Grey Havens and Elladan and Elrohir have left Imladris to live in Gondor with Aragorn and Arwen. So to be safe this is AU._

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Chapter I

It was beautiful, the fading sunlight shimmered on the water, a symphony of cascading gold. The waves rushing in towards the shore before retreating back out to sea. So calming, so inviting. He knew now why his father hadn't allowed them to go to the Grey Havens when their mother passed across the sea. Now that he was here, staring at it, so close that he could touch it, the sea breeze tugging at his hair invitingly. And the smell! The intoxicating scent of fresh air mingled with the tang of salt. The gulls crying up above sounding like a choir of angelic voices. He knew he could not fight the temptation much longer. He had to go, his family was across that water, and the sea called to him.

He forced his eyes away from the sight of the sunlight spilling across the water on the horizon to look at the ship which stood in the harbour. It stood proud and tall, sails filled with the sea air and he marvelled at the way ship seemed to shine, painted with the sunset's evanescent light as it bobbed in the harbour.

That was his ship, and it would take him home.

There was just one thing Elrohir needed to do first and it was the thing he dreaded most.

Finally managing to turn away from the beauty before him he walked back up the dock and away from the harbour. There his horse waited patiently for him. He smiled sadly at the stallion climbing into the saddle.

"Come on Aras," he said clicking his tongue and turning away from the harbour. He had sent Elladan a message a while ago asking his twin to meet him. He just hoped that his brother came. He was going somewhere he hadn't been in a long time, somewhere he never thought he'd go again. Imladris; the place where he'd been born, but no longer his home.

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Elladan cantered through the trees the sound of rushing water in his ears. The Bruinen still flowed then. It had been so long but the sound of the water crashing down the falls brought all the memories back to him. In moments the trees would clear and he would see his old home. He sighed and urged his horse on. The messenger had entered Gondor nearly three weeks ago with Elrohir's message and the elder twin had set out immediately. 

The sound of his horse's hooves on the ground changed in pitch slightly and he realized that the bridge had come into view. His horse raced across the cobelstones and Elladan stared up at the house in awe.

The perpetual autumn had turned to winter and the trees, once emblazoned with leaves of green, red and gold now stood stark against the winter sky. Only the evergreens still bore leaves defying the winter that hung about the house. He wondered sadly if these trees would ever bloom again. He remembered the blossom remembered the beautiful gardens and hoped that the flowers would return again, even if he was not there to see it.

Suddenly his eyes caught sight of a familiar figure. For mere moments he had thought it was his father standing there, for that had been one of his favourite spots, but no his father was gone. It was Elrohir, his sienna locks glimmering in the early morning light, the gentle breeze pulling it about, tugging it across his face. His twin seemed not to have noticed him, even from this distance Elladan could tell that his brother was not seeing what was in front of his eyes.

He road up into the courtyard dismounting his horse, not bothering to even tie it up before making his way up towards the balcony where Elrohir stood. He walked up behind his twin slowly, certain that his brother would hear him, but he did not. He reached out a tentative hand and touched his arm, but Elrohir didn't move.

"'Ro?"

"It's so beautiful isn't it?" Elrohir asked wistfully. "Do you remember playing here with Ada and Nana?" He paused. "And Arwen would always complain that we got her dress dirty when we tried to make her join in," he laughed softly. "It is odd, you would assume that to immortals time would never be an issue, that it would always stay the same, but it doesn't. Everything changes."

Elladan did not like the air in his brothers voice, nor did he like the wistful look in his eyes. It reminded him ever so slightly of the look he had seen in his mother's eyes when she had announced to her family that she had wanted to leave Middle Earth. It was unnerving and worried him a little more than he'd like to admit.

"Why are you acting this way 'Ro?" Elladan asked confused by his brother's words. Elrohir had told his brothers and sister he was going to Lorien where the last few elves who lived in Middle Earth dwelled. Though now Elladan was not so sure whether his brother had taken a detour.

Elrohir turned to his twin, his eyes sparkling with the light of stars. Elves lived in perpetual youth, but Elrohir seemed older, and his grey eyes glimmered with age and wisdom.

"I cannot stay here anymore 'Dan," Elrohir said solemnly. "There is a time when you begin to realize that you're fooling yourself, and deep in your heart you know you cannot go on as you have been."

Elladan looked at his brother dumbfounded, his twin's words just didn't seem to sink in. "You wish to sail," he said finally, turning away.

"I cannot fight it anymore," Elrohir said and reached out hesitantly to brush his brother's arm. "I have seen it 'Dan, the sea, it is the most beautiful thing you could ever set eyes on. You must come and see it, you must come with me."

The elder twin turned on his brother. "No 'Ro, not yet. You should not have gone there Elrohir."

"I am hardly a child to be commanded," Elrohir snapped disliking the tone in his brother's voice. Then his expression softened. "You were always the stronger of us both. Always the fighter, but I know you hear the sea calling too. Why not give in to it? Come with me, muindor, please I can stay no longer lest I be driven mad by it."

"But what about Arwen and Estel…?" Elladan asked fists clenches at his sides. "How can you leave them?"

"They have each other, they have a son," Elrohir said earnestly. He wished that Elladan would come with him; if only his brother could see. They had such a strong bond, he did not want to cause Elladan grief and he did not want to take the journey alone. "Please 'Dan one last adventure, one last time. Come with me."

"You want to leave Middle Earth, forever?" he asked questioning Elrohir with his eyes. "You never want to see Arwen and Estel again, you never want to see Rivendell in bloom again?"

"Of course I do 'Dan, but when it is it will be by the hands of mortals. We're dying here… don't you want to see Valinor?"

"Not yet," Elladan replied. "It can wait a while longer."

"But we don't have a while longer!" Elrohir protested. "Soon we will not be able to go even if we want to. I have a boat waiting at the havens."

"You have a boat…" Elladan sighed his forehead creasing. "I can't stop you Elrohir, if you want to go."

Elrohir felt a little sick and his complexion paled another shade. Elladan was actually considering letting him go, by himself? He hadn't expected Elladan to be completely happy with the idea, but he had thought that his twin would listen to reason.

"But…"

"I've told you how I feel Elrohir, but as I've said I won't stop you," Elladan replied solemnly. He didn't want his brother to go, he wanted to tie him up and drag him back to Gondor. He knew though that if he tried to fight Elrohir it would only make his twin more determined. To be honest he hoped that Elrohir would see sense and return with him when he left. He could only hope.

Elrohir sighed walking past his brother and resting on an ancient pillar running his fingertips over the intricate carvings. He looked back at his old home; in through the doors of the Hall of Fire. The glass in one of the door frames to the hall had shattered and he walked forwards tentatively pushing open the door worried that it would break under his light touch.

As it opened slowly on the old hinges the room seemed to change. He heard music and saw the room for what it had once been. Elves stood there dancing and others talking or drinking. The musicians stationed along the opposite wall playing the lilting music that made the room feel warm and welcome.

He took a step inside and the vision before him quickly vanished. The door pane was broken again and the pale winter sunlight spilled in through the tall picture windows that ran the length of the room.

A few dead leaves danced across the floor in front of him and his footsteps echoed as he walked to the centre of the room.

Elladan watched his twin cautiously as he span slowly in a circle studying the room carefully - seemingly lost in a dream.

"'Ro?" he asked at length. "Elrohir," he repeated when there was no reply following his brother into the hall.

Elrohir turned to him and Elladan suddenly noticed how pale his twin looked. Elrohir's eyes were sad and tired, his face wan and drawn. As he looked Elladan in the eye those swirling silver rain-clouds were too old for his youthful looks.

"I have to go," Elrohir replied at length. "I will be leaving soon. Maybe there is still time for me to journey to Gondor and say farewell to Estel and Arwen."

"If there is still time to do that, they why can't you stay for a few more years 'Ro?" Elladan questioned. It was the truth, neither liked to admit it, but even Estel new it. Despite the human's Numenorian blood their brother was finally reaching the end of his rope. When he died, Arwen would have to face the bitterness of her decision and would not last much longer than her husband. They all knew it and yet none dared to speak it. Somehow it felt as though time had been stolen from them. That Arwen should live for so much longer - she was not ready for it like Estel, there was still so much life in her.

"It is too late for me now, I have made up my mind," Elrohir replied, then added. "And even if I hadn't what good would come of it? After… once Estel dies Arwen won't last much longer could you bear to see her going through that?"

"I do not know," Elladan answered truthfully. "Though I do not know what difference it would be to out leaving her now."

"I have already told you and you know it, she is happy with Estel, our leaving would not hurt her now." Elrohir was begging now, with his eyes if not vocally. "Please just come with me Elladan, I have to go, but I don't want to leave you behind. When Ada told us about he and Elros and how they parted ways we always swore nothing like that would ever happen."

Elladan just looked at him mutely, he studied his twin's face long and hard and closed his eyes brows knitted as he tried to think. Eventually he spoke and he found he was having a surprising amount of difficulty keeping his voice even. "But we were young then 'Ro, we didn't know what would happen," he whispered. "And I made a vow to watch over her, I promised myself…"

"Can't you see though Elladan? Look at this place," Elrohir gestured about the worn out hall which had once held many feasts and dances. "It's dead here. Ada's gone, Nana wants to see us again. Arwen will understand, as will Estel."

Elladan was silent again watching Elrohir; he knew that his brother was using his family against him. Using the promises they had made to their mother, but that had been before Estel was even born. There were complications now. Elrohir didn't know it and probably wasn't aware of what he was doing, but his brother was literally being torn in two. Elladan could have laughed at the irony. That no matter how much pain hate and anger could cause in the end it was love that hurt the most.

"Would you be alright here? I need to know 'Dan to settle my heart. If you're going to suffer I don't know if I could leave. Would you promise me that you will follow me? Or even that you'll die happy if you stay here?" He looked at his twin's vacant expression. "Promise me Elladan, I have to know."

"I… I can't," Elladan whispered. He suddenly wished that he had a chair, he needed to sit down.

"We have no place here," Elrohir tried desperately to convince his twin. He moving closer and took hold of Elladan's shoulders both to get his attention and in case he fell over. "It's time for us to go home."

"We are home," Elladan said ire creeping into his voice.

"You made a promise to Nana," Elrohir tried another tactic, unintentionally tightening his grip on his twin's shoulders at the thought of his mother.

"I made a promise to Arwen," Elladan argued.

"She has Estel," Elrohir rebutted.

"And Nana has father," Elladan snapped pushing his brother away from him making Elrohir let go. "Leave mother out of this Elrohir! Stop trying to use her against me. It is an unfair trick and you know it. Do you have so little respect for her that you would use her as a pawn to manipulate my emotions. Do you love her so little-"

There was a resounding crack as Elrohir's palm connected with his brother's cheek.

Elladan stared at his brother in stunned, eyes too confused to hold any anger as he raised a hand to his stinging cheek. He couldn't recall the last time Elrohir had ever hit him like that. There had probably been a time when they were younger, but this was different.

"Don't you ever dare imply that I don't love her just as much as you," Elrohir raged. "It hurt me just as much as it hurt you to see her leave! I just want-"

"What? To get your own way?" Elladan asked more vehemence in his voice than he had meant.

Elrohir met his brother's eyes all anger quickly forgotten. "For us to be a family again… I know that can never be now that Arwen has married Estel. In my heart I have this feeling 'Dan that if you don't come with me now then I shall never see you again."

Elladan looked down. "I always had the intention of staying," he said slowly. "Even after Arwen was gone, some part of me cannot bear to leave."

"Oh Elladan I am sorry," Elrohir sighed. "I have been so selfish. You do not have to come, but nor can I stay."

"So you are definitely leaving then?" Elladan asked his throat suddenly closing up and tears coming unbidden to his eyes even so that he had to blink rapidly to clear them.

"Yes," Elrohir replied. "I am certain."

He turned then walking away, he could not stand to look his brother in the eye any longer.

"Are you going to come back to Gondor with me?" Elladan asked as Elrohir reached the door, his hand rested on the handle.

"I do not think I can," Elrohir replied softly.

"What about Arwen and Estel?" Elladan asked urgently following his twin.

"I have not the heart to tell them," Elrohir replied studying the carvings on the door rather than looking at his twin. "I know it is selfish 'Dan, but please tell them for me, I do not think I could bear it."

"But… you can't just leave without saying goodbye to them," Elladan spoke earnestly. "You cannot just leave."

"I came to say goodbye," Elrohir said with a watery smile, finally meeting his twin's eyes. "I never thought that this would happen 'Dan, but it's alright. Arwen needs you, and I will tell mother and father that you are well. Goodbye muindor." The last words came out as a whisper as he left the room.

Elladan did not try to follow his twin as he rode away, instead he sank slowly to the floor sitting there stunned. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. Nothing had ever hurt as much as the realization that he may never see his twin again. He didn't know what to think, what to do. He couldn't leave Middle Earth, but Elrohir couldn't stay.

Finally he managed to speak though it was too late for his brother to hear him. "Goodbye Elrohir."

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_A/N: Now I suppose the question is do I leave it like that or write more? I always intended to write more, but I am having a big debate on how to actually end this and it may take me a while to write anything._

_This means a lot to me so I went over it a ton to get it right, so if you notice any grammar errors or something like that then please tell me them, exactly where they are and I will be eternally greatful._

_Reviews will be kept close to the heart._


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